Yesterday I watched the latest episode of House, “Lucky Thirteen.” The center theme of the episode was on the character played by Olivia Wilde, Number Thirteen, and how she has started to self-destruct due to her terminal illness.
As soon as I got done watching the show, I started to think about how I would live my life if I knew I was dying. I’m not dying, nor can I truly say exactly how I would react to such news. However, the thoughts provided for some interesting revelations.
The initial feeling that washed over me was relief. The relief was a result of knowing I wouldn’t have to live up to any of my expectations. I could let go of all my dreams, ambitions and goals since there is no way I can build the empire I dream of in 6 months to a year – so why bother. I would be free.
I have been relentlessly pursuing my ambitions, so I don’t have any regrets in the face of death that I haven’t followed my dreams or been afraid of going after the things I want. This means I am living my life with purpose and without excuses.
The only regret I felt was from the lack of time I have spent with my family and friends. This is the biggest sacrifice I make every day because of my dreams.
I decided that if I knew I was dying things would drastically change. I would make my priorities spending time with my family and friends, reading and writing. I would focus on what I’ve neglected; my family and friends and do what the activities I love the most; reading and writing. I have so many things I think about, wonder about, have learned, and want to say…I would want get it “out of me”.
After coming to my conclusion, the next question I asked myself was “well, why aren’t you doing that now?!?!”
The answer to that question is tied into my desire to accomplish big things. Ultimately what I want to accomplish with my life is build a legacy I am proud of – a legacy that will impact other people’s lives. I know it’s a lofty dream that requires my all and it’s what I have happily dedicated my life to do. I won’t stop going after my dreams as long as I believe I can attain them.
The biggest realization of this train of thought was that I live life every day for the living. I live life to create, build, and develop things. I live life therefore, I make choices and sacrifices. I live life because I want to learn and achieve. I live life to be uncomfortable, take risks, be afraid, and challenged. I live life to have more and be more than what I had and was yesterday.