I debated writing about this but since I can’t let it go – here comes.
Last Saturday I went to a Christmas party and ran into some people I knew and hadn’t seen in a while…I got to know one of those individual a little better.
Married for three years, divorced for 17 years but celebrating a 20th Anniversary in a few weeks with the same woman he married and divorced. A few times a year they get together to include a yearly vacation. He has been doing this for 20 years.
He loves and adores children…she doesn’t and never did. He spent 20 years torn between the woman he loves and his desires to have a big family. He settled on being a wonderful “uncle” and godfather to the children of his closest friends, while maintaining a scary version of a relationship with a woman who would never make him completely happy.
He was well intoxicated by the time he shared all of this information. Perhaps he remembers and perhaps he doesn’t remember what I had to say….and perhaps I was out of line butting in.
I told him he had two options – say his good-byes to the woman who would never fulfill him or say good-bye to his dreams of being a father. Right now he’s living an incomplete existence that’s patched and torn between the things his heart desires. There is no peace or contentment to be had this way.
He dreams of another woman walking into his life that he will love and who will want children. Yet, he keeps hanging on to another woman. Life does not work that way. You aren’t going to get what you want in order to feel secure about letting go of what you have. You must first let go of what you have, so what you want, has the room to enter your life.
MAKE THE HARD DECISIONS!
Life is a journey designed to make us grow, learn and evolve. Don’t live – be ALIVE. It will be painful, it will hurt, it will test you and it will be tough. It will also be amazing, wonderful, miraculous and enlightening.
The path is easy to find, although difficult to follow. The path starts with making the hard decisions that await you. You have to let go of what’s “comforting” but not fulfilling. You’ll feel bare, scared and in a place of unknowns however, overtime the things you really want will manifest.
Life will not fulfill your heart’s wishes without you taking some risks and chances. You keep hanging on to your security blankets and you’ll never, ever get what you desire the most. NEVER.