The first manipulator I encountered in my life was someone I grew up with. For the longest time, he was someone I admired and trusted more than any other. The latest manipulator I allowed in my life tested my resolve at dinner the other night which lead me to tears…I count that as a better ending than me causing a much bigger scene by bitch slapping her. The tears were filled with anger, with remorse, with aggravation, frustration and so much disappointment in myself for knowing better.
Manipulators, along with scammers and cons are the scum of business people. Unlike scammers and cons – manipulators are more difficult to identify because…well, by the nature of who they are; they manipulate people and situations to a confusing level of uncertainty of what’s, what.
A manipulator will leverage everything they know about you; your dreams, ambitions, talents, weaknesses to get you to do what they want from you. They are going to make it seem like they are helping you work on the things you want and desire. Make you feel like they are supporting your dreams but the entire time they are manipulating you to do what THEY want from you.
With ease and care, a manipulator will pull any of the many strings they have weaved around you to create the outcome they are looking for. Young entrepreneurs are very susceptible to this selfish, horrid and dark character because entrepreneurs love challenges, seek to help others, and are filled with energy, enthusiasm and an overly optimistic look on life. The business manipulator will often come in the form of a more experienced, business-savvy and “successful” business person.
More than likely, the first string they will begin the tie is through offering some sort of mentorship or assistance to the young entrepreneur; offering resources, contacts and their experience. They might follow up on some of it but what’s more likely to happen is they will begin to emotionally and psychologically manipulate the entrepreneur through sharing problems, concerns and issues about their own business(es). They will seek your help and assistance and begin draining your energy and resources.
How do you know you’re in a professional relationship with a manipulator?
- They have not delivered on any of the things they promised to help you with
- They constantly turn things around to suit their own needs
- They make you feel confused, frustrated and drained
- They like to play the victim. They always need help.
- They are very gifted a blowing smoke up your ass
- They are bad decision makers and are always blaming other people
You will wonder and ask yourself “How did this person make it in business?” The more you feel a need to understand them or make sense of their behavior, the deeper you are wrapped up in their manipulation. DON’T DO IT. GET AWAY!!
Unfortunately, I’m currently financially dependent on the manipulator in my life but I’m working to change that in the next month so I can make a break for it. My gut and every ounce of my being told me not to go work for her….but I did. I didn’t really have much of an option, I did however have an option to not fall into one of her traps, like I did, which is why I ended up so pissed at myself. I’m still extremely angry at her. That’s the thing with manipulators – they get really deep under your skin.
This blog post is the start of my cleansing. Do you need cleansing? Are you currently involved with manipulator or have your recently escaped one?