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Wearing All my Lives at Once

Wearing All my Lives at Once

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Most days, I get up around 5:45am and I’m at the gym by 6:15/6:30am.  I return home around 8am and on Tuesdays and Thursdays; I run around in a rush to get ready to get to school since my first class is at 9:30am.  On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I’m not in as much of a rush but I always have things to do before I leave the house to make it to class by 1pm. On Tuesdays, I’m at school from 9:30 am to 9pm.  On Thursdays, I skip my French class in the afternoon to rush to the Marine Corps base, put my uniform on and fill my billet as the S-6 for Intel Support Battalion for HQ, Marine Forces Reserves. Every moment that I’m not at school or on base I’m studying, doing homework, or doing social media consultant work for Go Local NOLA or making an attempt at marketing The Loop of Confidence to get  clients.

My life right now is not just hectic…it’s quite honestly WEIRD!

My life feels like I’m wearing all of my lives at once…

  • Student
  • Social Media Consultant
  • Entrepreneur (The Loop of Confidence)
  • Marine (USMCR)

The plus side of my life at the moment is that for the most part I’m managing to make ends meet while “working for myself”. At the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey, I lived off my savings which was followed by living on debt which eventually lead me to having to take full time billets in the Marine Corps.  But for the first time, since leaving the Marine Corps in 2005, I’m squeezing by without having to be full time in the Marine Corps.  I’m making it thanks to the living stipend that’s part of the 9/11 GI Bill, doing consultant work and drilling in the USMCR.  I hate being 33 years old and having to pinch every penny…particularly since I envisioned I’d be a millionaire by now but I’m focusing on the victory (being free of full time employment and self-sufficient) not the deficiencies.

What irks me the most about my current situation is that in order to make ends meet, the majority of my time must go towards the things that generate income which leaves little time to dedicate to The Loop of Confidence.  Most entrepreneurs end up in this similar situation. Entrepreneurs know what they love, and are passionate about…what they wish to dedicate all their time to but have to be realistic about paying the bills and making ends meet.  I no longer have the luxury of savings to support me while I pursue my entrepreneurial dreams.

I didn’t imagine that my life would become a combination of all my lives at once…and I can’t figure out what it actually means. Last year…around the beginning of the summer when I felt really lost, the thing that made the most sense was to start going to school.  This was an oddity in of itself since going to college full time was never something I had pictured myself doing…but since I was going to get paid to go to school – it made sense to do it.  Meaning, the Universe and circumstances lead me down that road.  Next, I had a aha moment which lead to re-opening the door to The Loop of Confidence but so far that has been slow going since I really haven’t been able to market it properly.

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The consultant work and the Marine Corps Reserve were two “opportunities” to add my measly income and neither required much effort on my part to get.  When “opportunities” present themselves detached of adversity and challenges – it makes sense to embrace them.

My story is undoubtedly still being written and since I can’t make sense of it – all I can do is continue on as I am and see where it takes me.  I have an extremely clear image of where I want life to take me and some days I feel I’m heading towards that image/life I want for myself while some other days all I can do is ask Why?

The most difficult part of wearing all my lives at once is not really having anyone who can relate to all of my “lives”.  Mostly all the students I encounter are either younger than myself and full time students or adults working full time/part time jobs.  They don’t know anything about the military aspect of my life and even less about the entrepreneurial aspects of my life.  Same can be said when I’m wearing the uniform and when I’m around other entrepreneurs.  I relate to the people I encounter in the capacity under which they fit into my life.  God willing, someday soon I will live the life of a successful entrepreneur and narrow down the scope under which I exist.

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