In his sermon today, Joel Osteen kept saying “Your test will be your testimony”. My tests and struggles have been tremendous and they are/will indeed be my testimony – soon ,real soon. Truth of the matter is I’m not quite out of the storm yet, but I am no longer fighting the storm.
Early in September last year, around my birthday, I had a serious awakening of why everything had been the way it was in my life for the last seven years; the pains of my failures in business and the pains of my relationship with Aaron. After my realizations, I started making changes and strengthening my faith in God.
Some things got better and I had an awesome time with my family at Christmas. I definitely felt the best I had in a long time. I also became re-energized and re-focused on building my business (The Loop of Confidence). Months into working on the business there have only been small victories. I am grateful and embracing my victories however small they might be…but they haven’t help me financially (yet). Also adding to the financial stress is money I expected to come in – not coming in.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been this incredibly financially stress. Well…actually this is the worst it’s ever been but this is the first time I haven’t been anxious, stressed, hateful, angry, depressed and crying about the situation. It’s also the first time I haven’t taken control of the situation and gone desperately about to come up with ways to make the money I need to get by. Yes, those feelings have snuck-up on me and so has the desire to take control of the situation…but instead of taking control – I’ve been turning to prayers. I have been praying more than ever before in my life.
Somewhere along the way…my faith and praying lead me to finally submit my will to God. I can’t fix this. I have been trying to control, fix and make things happen for the last seven years. I can’t do it alone. I have put my full trust and faith in God. In exchange, I have found peace and happiness in the toughest financial situation of my life.
I don’t know what/how God will take care of the situation. I just know I can’t. I know that there are multiple streams of income open where prosperity could be unlocked and I keep on working on what I believe I am anointed to do…and following God’s will for my life.
Obviously my testimony will be stronger and more fun to tell once I am blessed with the abundance that is planned for my life. But what is my testimony right now is that instead of being in pain, suffering from pain, depression and anger – I am at peace and happy. I am ready to welcome whatever is to happen tomorrow and the next day.