I felt great pain from not qualifying Saturday night because of the financial burden I’ve been under, and the knowledge that if I didn’t qualify, I wouldn’t be able to afford to compete in the LA Championship, July 14th. Heck, I was at the point where I couldn’t afford anything at all – been living under these conditions for years now while somehow scrapping by with the help of friends and family and odd jobs.
At one point the IRS took money from my account and delivered a huge blow that was almost unbearable. The blow later turned into what seemed like a blessing – where I would get a decent amount of money back which turned once more into a nightmare. This has been going on for almost 8 months. Today the money I was expecting 8 months ago came in. The money came in when I needed it the most although many people told me I would never see this money and I couldn’t afford a tax attorney to get it for me. It simply came in today at a time when God knew, I would know why today was the day it came in.
In the past, under major adversity, I allowed my faith to falter; not this time. I felt pain and I didn’t understand why this was happening but I didn’t get mad, angry or frustrated with God. I turned to him even more; finally getting it…the concept of continuous Faith and fully trusting the Lord.
Back in Prep Mode
I emailed my coach and told him we were back on!! I want to come in full but as dry and hard as I was at the Camellia Championship. Because I was softer for the Greater Gulf and totally gorged myself yesterday while I was wallowing; we’ve got our work cut out to get me to where I want to be in 3 weeks.
So he said – 5 days no carbs, 1 hour cardio every day then send him an update. I won’t lie that I get more satisfaction and motivation coming from behind than ahead of the power curve!
It’s in God’s plan to have me back on stage, the end is not now.