Tomorrow morning I will be taking my final, final and until I decide what I really want to study in Graduate school – I will be done with school for the time being. The 100 days are coming to a close and it’s definitely time to establish a new battle rhythm.
Building a Successful Business
My primary and biggest dream in life is to build a successful, meaningful, multi-million dollar business. This dream has fully eluded me for over seven years – it’s never even really sprouted any stems although I have planted many seeds and nurtured those seeds to grow. The closes I came to making my dream happen was WhyGoSolo but failed to be able to find users for the site and investors. I can look back and be proud of many accomplishments in regards to WhyGoSolo but unfortunately, it never grew.
Of course I realize it wasn’t my true calling in life (granted doing it for a few years and cashing out would have pretty nice) and the business I build needs to be built around what I am called to do in my life. Now that I know without a doubt what my calling is…one would think building the business aspect of it would get easier but thus far it hasn’t been and I’m face to face again with having to make decisions on what approach to take next.
Keeping the Devil Away
Fulfilling the goal of getting my degree and of competing were both means of keeping me focused and working towards achievable goals that for the most part I had a lot of control over. Diligently attending class and studying meant getting my degree. Diligently dieting and training meant getting to step on stage. I had control over all of those things and although at times they were very challenging; I already had the coping skills, self-control and self-discipline I needed to get through them. And like I mentioned in my previous posts – I certainly grew in many ways in my pursuit of those goals.
But now those goals have been accomplished. Training, dieting and competing remain part of my life however, to the forefront staring down at me is MY DREAM. When I was a kid I would lay in bed at night thinking about businesses. I never would have left the Marine Corps for anything other than striking out on my own and building a business. NOTHING has challenged me and pushed me like my pursuit of building a business. NOTHING has hurt me like failing at building a business thus far. I have lost everything to the pursuit of my dream. I live a life of constant sacrifice for my dream.
I don’t think I can clearly illustrate/communicate the desire, passion and power this dream has over me. Our dreams need to be bigger than ourselves – they need to be so big, we know we can’t do it alone and we must turn to God to help us. It seems that the more we seek God – the bigger the door opens up for the Devil to come in and I feel more vulnerable than I have in a long time.
I’m Scared But I can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me
Listening to the Devil would mean taking control and doing things like I have in the past which lead me to failure. Listening to the Devil would mean taking “opportunities” coming my way right now that would keep me in the same vicious cycle that makes me miserable.
I believe in myself, I believe in God and I have full faith and confidence in Him but this morning as I type this blog post I am incredibly scared and I am sharing it because I know many of you find yourself in similar situations. The only solution to combat this fear is prayer. In the past, I would have taken action and formulated a plan…without praying and without waiting on God’s guidance.
Praying For Guidance
I will never give up. I will do all that it takes. I won’t question God or His timing. I trust in what God promises me in His Word and I know He has made me a conqueror. I really want to set things in motion, establish the new battle rhythm/plan to follow but I haven’t received God’s guidance yet. Plenty of directions coming from myself and the Devil; I am wiser now than to listen to it.
“I do follow the Good Shepherd and I know His voice, the voice of a stranger I will not follow.” (John 10:4,5)
Fears creep in – faith and prayer return the peace. Rash and emotional actions and decisions are works of the enemy and do not lead to success. I say again, as much as I want to take control, formulate a plan and execute it that would not be walking in faith and walking with God. As soon as He speaks – I will act. Hopefully you get just how UNCOMFORTABLE I am right now and that walking with God will bring you to this place.
To ease some of this intense uneasiness – I am sharing it with you. We often get peoples’ success story after the fact, well I am placing you right dab in the middle of it.
I am also going to work on things that I’ve wanted to do for months, like restructuring the Loop of Confidence website, marketing my services again and developing/writing my speeches and new content.