I’m a nice gal but let me blunt here – the dumbest question I get asked aside from “Do you workout?” is “Why are you single?”
Just like it’s obvious I workout, it’s a no brainer that I’m single because I haven’t found the right man to be with but the question always seems to imply there must be some reasons why or something wrong with me. So fine, let’s explore why Ann is single.
On December 4th of last year I wrote a blog post called Falling in Love Again – there’s no doubt I am ready to be in love again; however, being in a relationship or in love has never been a high priority or need on my list. I’ve been on very few dates over the years and I’ve had few relationships. Although I have been engaged twice…technically three times, one of the times I didn’t have a ring on my finger but we did file for and get a marriage license.
All three were not meant to be and I said “yes” to the wrong men. Obviously that says a few things about me but you live and learn.
Being in a relationship with the right man would no doubt add happiness, value, meaning and of course love to my life – all amazing and wonderful things; but those aren’t strong enough desires for me to invest time to assist the process of making it happen. I have dealt with many of the things that manage to get under my skin – but wasting my time remains something I don’t want to do.
I don’t want to date or kiss any frogs on my way to my prince. I give kudos to the guys and gals who are dating and putting themselves out there, meeting each other to find the right one, but to me, it’s just not where I want to invest my time.
When a guy who is out of shape, parties, and lacks any signs of an intellect wants to know why I’m single, I have to seriously bite my tongue to remain a proper Christian and not say what crosses my mind.
I’m single because I live a very specific lifestyle. I have strong values I live by and there’s no room for compromise on those. I’m looking for a godly, healthy, confident, funny and geeky man. My list of what I seek in a man has dwindled down drastically but the non-negotiables have intensified in their meaning. If a man doesn’t have a relationship with the Lord, cannot stimulate my intellect, make me laugh, be comfortable with my ambitions and be onboard with how I live my life (as a Women’s Physique competitor) – there’s no point in trying.
I’m passionate about many things. I have a plethora of interests ranging from business to bodybuilding that includes politics, God, the human psyche and technology. Why would I choose someone who can’t discuss some if not all of those things with me? I enjoy debating, being challenged in meaningful ways, and exploring the depth of who someone is and what makes them tick.
I strive to live a balanced life so why would I allow someone in my life whose off-balance? I’m very positive and not interested in someone filled with negativity, judgment and a black cloud over his head.
I have nothing to prove to anyone and no desire to impress anyone but I am constantly growing and improving. If someone is stagnant– they don’t belong with me and I’m not looking to jump start anyone.
I’m asking for a lot, I realize that, but I bring a lot to the table so settling for less is not an option. The single life suits me just fine.
Finding Love Online – Not for Me
My friend’s list on Facebook has overtime become very stocked with well…very well stocked men. Some have “hit” me up to chat and to get to know each other better. The other day I fell for trying to get to know one of the guys via available technology since he lives in Canada. While trying to get to know each other via Skype, it was apparent he wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying – it didn’t take long for me to start thinking “why am I wasting my time?”
I tried to be open and not shut down getting to know him based on the 1000s of miles between us – but the inability to show common courtesy is not something I can overlook…because again, I treasure my time. Time is so precious. I will openly spend money (when I have it) to save myself time. Thorough considerations on how I spend my time is always on the forefront of my mind.
Open minded – Fair Chance
I love meeting new people and I stay very open minded. I don’t judge however, I do know pretty quickly how “stimulated” I am by a person. And I don’t mean just men either. A lot of this applies to finding new female friends to hang out with. If I find a woman boring and unstimulating – we won’t develop a lasting friendship. Just isn’t going to work out; I’ll feel like I’m wasting my time when I’m with her and I’ll be bored.
I’ve always valued quality over quantity. I’ve never had a huge circle of friends for the sake of having friends. I’ve always maintained a small circle of quality friends and I’ve added to it over the years very slowly. Time. Time is precious. Why spend time with people who don’t add to your life?
Alright, I got off on a tangent here but pretty sure I provided answers to the question “Why are you single”
Oh and not looking for “when the time is right, he’ll show up”, “when you least expect it, there he’ll be” – I know God has someone for me…perhaps he’s even a time keeper 😉