I read a blog post on Boundless after seeing it come across my Twitter feed, and thought it was well written, worth a read, but missing something…which is why I want to open up a little more about myself, to hopefully give more context to what Lisa was trying to say.
I’ve obviously heard about the book Fifty Shades of Grey, and I’ve also seen one of the movie trailers.
I haven’t read the book, so I’m making assumptions about the storyline based on what I’ve read about it. I have however, experienced/lived similar experiences.
I can see the appeal of the book and movie for women…even to Christian women. While I was raised Catholic, I was not a follower of Christ in the truest sense until about 5 years ago – you could say I had a few promiscuous years.
I had an adventurous, risky and sexually driven time of my life. Okay…not sure that’s properly stated, I’m still very adventurous and filled with sexual desires, but it’s now all contained within the bounds of obedience for my Lord and Savior.
I can understand how Christian women, who have made their vows to wait until marriage, and have been kept waiting, and waiting by God (with no sign of a husband in sight anytime soon) are attracted to a movie like that. They’re likely curious, and have been living off some sort of fantasy of their own, about who the man is, that will finally end their torturous wait.
But a “Christian Grey” is not the answer…not even the idea of him. Trust me.
The men of my past were not billionaires, but they had a fair share of other qualities with the character depicted as Christian Grey. They had issues, some more than others (I had issues too, so not placing blame solely on them) but they were also hot, sexy, and intoxicating. I used men. They used me. Some hurt me emotionally and mentally, and one or two bordered line on the physical. They were an outlet for my anger, hurt, and pain I was feeling. They were also an escape from reality. Sex made me feel, albeit very temporarily, amazing and in power. For a brief moment, it filled a void. I used to love losing control to the intoxicating animalistic need for passion, flesh and raw desires.
When I first dropped to my knees and gave my life to the Lord, I struggled greatly with those urges. They were like a drug and without them, how would I feel sexy, needed…how would I have control and power?
How would I be empowered as a woman?
God worked in my life to fill those needs and to show me true and unconditional love. I don’t look back on my past in shame or regret. I didn’t know God back then, like I know Him now. He hadn’t taken hold of my life. However, with that being said, I certainly have no desires to watch who I used to be through the movie Fifty Shades of Grey. I feel very sorry for all those who will watch and yearn to have a similar experience, like Anastasia’s because it’s a shallow, meaningless, hurtful, and demeaning experience. It isn’t love…no matter how the story ends. Christian women should have a greater understanding of what love is.
God has taken all my pain, anger and hurt away. He has forgiven me and I have forgiven myself, but I still know I was a mess back then without God in my life. I made poor and bad decisions. I didn’t know what real love was. I gave to men what they hadn’t earned, or deserved to have from/of me.
As I sit here writing this, I’m still single. My desires to know the love of a man, here on earth, in the flesh, burns feverishly, but not as hot as how it burns for God. His love is more than enough. Whenever I have moments of weakness; after all, I too get tired of waiting, and I have physical needs and wants, I spend time with Him, basking in His love.
Ladies, don’t undo what God has planned for you by getting side tracked. It’s not worth it.
It will require additional discipline and faith to forego joining others in indulging in what you know you should not watch, but it’s a small sacrifice to pay for the endless well of love God constantly offers you.
Again, I have no interest watching what a fool I used to be on the Big Screen. Don’t go watching what a fool you can become by stepping out on God.
How About You?
Do you have an opinion about the 50 Shades of Grey movie? I would love to hear from you! Comment below or contact Ann’s Adventure Tour Travel Writer and Blogger here.