To say that I feel like a complete idiot and super stupid is an understatement. The list for selection to Lieutenant Colonel came out last week, my name was not on it…but neither was my name on the “in zone not selected” list. This of course generated some confusion, which was clarified upon looking at the original message with the promotion zones. Turns out, I misread the promotion zones. I missed being in-zone by two months, I was in the below zone.
I’m not quite over feeling like a fool for unnecessarily setting myself up with two different tracks/paths for my life; that I thought were so critical they had to be decided upon by doing a fleece test for the Lord. I feel some relief in a way, but I also feel like I’m lacking clear guidance from the Lord on what His will is for my life.
People asked me what I thought my “mistake” means. At this point, I don’t think it means anything, other than I made a mistake, and that mistake had me over-thinking things. I don’t want to keep over-thinking things, nor do I want to overreact as to where this leaves me.
I have an idea of a plan for what I would like to accomplish/do once I demobilize from the Marine Corps, and I leave Germany. What I’m going to do now is solidify that plan and pursue it more wholeheartedly.
My plans feel selfish. They appear solely base on what I want, and I can’t see how they serve the Lord. However, at the same time, I’m constantly praying and in communication with the Lord to show me his will, and to use me to serve Him. I trust in the Lord and I pray I won’t miss out on His plan for my life.